Why Small Groups Don't Work (Part 1)

I am a strong believer in small groups. I am not sure I could live the life I was created for without the context of a small group of Christian friends doing life together. Connecting with a group of people over months and years; praying with each other through tragedies, celebrating the big moments together, helping each other move (A great reason to join a group; you'll never load a U-Haul alone); it is in a community like this that I can live out the life of a true Christ follower.

But here's the problem; small groups don't work. At least not all of the time. Not for everyone. Unfortunately they work less and less of the time. But we can't admit it; we have so bought into the philosophy of small groups that we have to pretend that they work for everyone. Most of the time. 

If you aren't in a small group you like you just need to keep moving until you find one that works. You'll find one. Eventually.

Or you should just suck it up and learn to like the group you're in. Keep going every Friday night. Keep pretending to be in deep prayer for Susan's Aunt Emma's brother-in-law's endless battle with the gout. Keep eating the small group chips and dip and keep watching the small group videos and keep answering the small group questions and keep doing the small group dance. 

It will work for you eventually. Or least it will work for gout boy. Hopefully.

Small groups washed ashore from Korea back in the 70s and 80s. They were God-sent relief from adult Sunday School and Adult Bible Fellowship where we sat and listened to semi-literate teachers read to us about Leviticus and temple worship and exploding evangelists. (Or Evangelism Explosion, I get it confused). So we eagerly jumped on the small group bandwagon. 

Then Carl George created a playbook with X's and Xa's and coaches. Later we heard from South America that we were doing it all wrong; that we should actually be organized in groups of 12. Cells became small groups which became care groups which become life groups. For a brief time at Seacoast we called them "E Groups". We never did quite figure out what that meant. (For awhile we said the E stood for Encounter, but Encounter Groups just sound creepy). Along the way huge life change happened in cell/care/life/small groups. 

But small groups are losing steam. We have gotten lost somewhere along the way. The goal has become small group membership just like the goal became Sunday School attendance. Pretty soon we'll be handing out pins for perfect small group participation. Maybe we already are.

I think there is a major missing link in our philosophy of small groups. I think this missing link is why so many people struggle with small groups while continuing to pretend they're working. Tomorrow I'll share what that missing link is.

How about you? Do you think small groups work for the majority of people in your church? Why? If they aren't working, what is missing?

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Be sure to read Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 for more of the story

Comments

[Jon Ferguson]

Pulled me in on this one Geoff. Lookin' forward to hearing what your small groups are missing. Feelin' bad for you. Our's work all the time.

[Kevin Childs]

Forwarding this to our MyGroup Leader. I enjoy your writing. I've heard Ed Young say he's kinda giving up on small groups.

[Geoff Surratt]

You ruined it for tomorrow Jon, what I was going to say is what small groups need are more of the Ferguson brothers. Just a little dash of CCC. Oh and one other thing...

[George Westlake III]

Very Intriguing Geoff.... We have a curiously fascinating and non-textbook culture in our church, that has seemingly been a serious component in obscuring "small, cell, life, fellowship, E, F, G and H*##" group success. We of course, are doing it "wrong" ....because they work ! Everywhere they are done right ! We have however, found that (community-type) groups consisting of a larger number of people seem to work (fairly well) if they are not overdone.
I am anxious to peruse your next piece.

[hillenblog]

Ed Young's Tweet the other day was this. "I would rather have people volunteering in ministry, than in small groups"
(not to speak for Ed, but...) I think the key here is the focus of the group. Often times Small Groups begin to focus inwardly on themselves and their struggles. However when in Ministry your focus is outwardly and on others. Anytime your feeling bad about your circumstances...go help someone else. It will always make you feel better.

[hillenblog]

PS...Geoff. I love your running commentary on My Twitter Timeline about the Grammy's or whatever is happening. Very Clever. #Dirt010 ?

[Geoff Surratt]

George: Very cool to hear that your groups work. (Must be that CBC training) Love to hear how you define whether groups are working and how you measure that. (If you measure)

Hillenblog: I did not see Ed Young's tweet, but I wonder if it's an either/or proposition? I like the direction you are going with the outward focus. Might need to rethink tomorrow's post :)

Kevin: Thanks for the props on my writing. I'll try to be worthier of your confidence in my skills.

[Brett]

Maybe when we measure success in numbers of people involved we can tend to force people into small group situations who simply don't function well in them. I know we push them pretty hard and it always makes me wonder if we sometimes push people away from the church as a result.
Is it possible that we demean the 'life' that DOES happen on Sunday mornings by stating that SG's are where 'life' is done?

They sometimes work, but when it doesn't work it is bad for them and frustrating for us.

Something to seriously think about.

[Matias72]

I think small groups can work most of the time, however, I've been a small group leader in the past. If the group does not buy into the relational aspect of doing life together... It dies. People do need to be part of a group that they can rely on to get through the uglies and the pretties of life. I think if you look for a biblical perspective, it would be to invest in the lives of those who are around you regardless of their position in life or faith for that matter.

[Sam O'Neal]

Since I'm the Editor of SmallGroups.com, I'm getting a little afraid...

But I'll guess that the Missing Link you are referring to is the service component. Groups of poeple getting together and focusing primarily on that gathering always gets stale -- whether the gathering is in a classroom or a home, whether it's one person lecturing or a group of people patting on another on the back.

When groups don't transition from studying together to doing something about what they've learned, things get sour. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 1:27).

[Juan Carlos Flores Zuñiga]

I´d share some of Geoff worries. I´d been living and training leaders and pastors to build healthy small gorups for already seven years. I do no regret it. Human beings need healthy relationship but drift to isolation. Just check the push by tech gadget making us all inform but relationally isolated. Of course, small groups are not everyone, but you need to develop real relationship in order to serve other in ministry. I serve as pastor in a church with our groups,just ministry. It was unhealthy. I coach pastors coming for G12 in South America, they never experienced real fellowship and authenticity, but much needed it.
There is no perfect methodology, and as in any methodology your need to get feedback and improve over time. We live in a different world where you have odd and old church methodology living at the same time with avant-garde christian methodology. No one had the right solution for all church challenges. You need to rethink but not necessarioly discard because some christian guru don´t feel it work. Our thirst for the new thing is becoming shallow, and empty.
Be blessed

[Holly]

To contribute as a person which incorporates the sentiments of compassion, love and caring with a Christian upbringing, to segment into small or large groups or not to is part of the sociological aspect of Homosapiens.. we are a clan, gang, pack being. The "it takes a village" aspect is natural. In tribal communities, without any formality, naturally villages separate into the smaller family segment. When in need of medicine the medical component (small group) is sought, food, law, education, safety... it is without training. Within our environment of gimmicks, brand marketing, dependence and inter and intra dependence, colloquial names are assigned. Self help, e-group, cells, AA, Al anon, grief, cancer, divorce, all groups are part of searching for an internal component of need... without the village aspect we go where we have learned, the church, the gym, the spa, the hospital.. our friends and women's or men's nights out.. it serves the greater purpose of healing, validating, growth, learning, educating, recharging or re-learning habits... it isn't just for Christians and thinking outside the box regarding labeling is key to finding how to make any group work. It isn't the name or the change of name, it is how the smaller unit suits the needs of the pack... we all need family, validation, wisdom and growth. Hence the gangs of inner cities, in jails, cliques in schools, fraternities, sororities, the rotary, Masons, etc...

[WillMarotti]

I believe small groups do work and can work in the right environment. I think the wrong environment is aiming for teachers rather than hosts, I think the right environment is recognizing their limitations - mainly they work well for connection and care - they don't work as well for discipleship. Our church is small (450-500 adults) but we routinely see 45-55 percent in groups. That's success for us. I'm not sure how you or others would define "they're working"? We really use them to help close the back door more than anything else.

[Geoff Surratt]

Brett: I think you have a great point. Anytime we "push" people somewhere they truly want to go we will always fail. That's part of the problem.

Matias72: Love this phrase, "People do need to be part of a group that they can rely on to get through the uglies and the pretties of life." I agree wholeheartedly, I just don't think its enough.

Sam: "Since I'm the Editor of SmallGroups.com, I'm getting a little afraid..." Be afraid, be very afraid :)

Juan: Thanks for participating, I love to hear your perspective from another culture.

Holly: Fascinating stuff. My question is, what is someone as smart as you doing hanging around a place like this? :)

Will: I think you've hit the nail on the head: What is "success" for small groups? How do we measure that success?

[mike henderson]

I don't know if there will ever be a one size fits all. In it's day Sunday School only worked for a %. I see three ways people connect, but not exactly sure how to make it happen in the church. One is like school. I met my best friend on the ball field. For the next 9 years of school we were very close. So we met doing what we loved to do. Then there is the 'Cheers" method. The bar proved to be an environment where people met to discuss work, life, etc. They connected big time. But not everyone in the bar connected. It worked for some. Then there is a 'forced' environment where the church may say "this is it." If you want to connect here it is. Truth is, all three can work. I think the farther we get from 'forced'(may not be a good word) to people connecting naturally the better, although any solution can seem canned. For example, salespeople who sale from a script do worse than those who sale face to face with emotion etc. The farther we get from 'canned' the better. Love the discussion.

[Ben Reed]

Geoff,
Our small groups are working based on the way we describe success in them. We define success not as numbers of groups or numbers of people in those groups. We define success as group members taking steps of faith. If that happens, great! If that doesn't happen, then even if relationships are formed, groups swell to 50, and lots of other "good" stuff happens, the group is a failure.

Discipleship happens best in the context of relationships. God has designed us to thrive in "community," not simply on our own. "Small groups" are helping us at our church accomplish that. But if, at some point, they don't help us live life in community, and cease to help us become faithful followers of Christ, I'm ready to throw small groups out. Right now, though, they're functioning well.

Looking forward to tomorrow's "missing link"!

[Jesse Phillips]

I think it's actually possible that the way we do church isn't working. Maybe this wrong, I don't know. But I get this sense more and more. Is it possible that by training people to sit in pews, hear from the expert on stage, be passive, comfortable & entertained - that when they're in a situation where they need to contribute, encourage, do things that aren't about them for others' sake (listening to a boring person, talking to an awkward person, bringing food for someone, ministering to & encouraging the weak in their group)- is it possible that we're training them to suck at ministering to each other in small group settings?

Maybe it's not. What do you think? Very, very interested in this conversation! Thank you for posting!

[Paul M Sparrow]

Geoff, great blog. I'll dive right in and admit it. When they're great they're great and when they're not...well, they're bad. I'm a Seacoaster and have been in good small groups and not so good small groups. I liken it to human dynamics. Sometimes you meet people you just can't get a vibe with. When you do, ahhhh, it's wonderful. And sometimes the relationship--as good as it was at first--just simply runs its course. Been there, felt that. Nothing personal but the magic sometimes goes away.
My advice? Unless you're looking for the Holy Grail of gout get out of the small group that doesn't get it for you. Just KNOW what you are looking for, and be sure to pray that the Lord will lead you to the place where he wants you to be. Or in this case, where he wants you to meet.
One final thought--if the small group leader isn't buttoned down (prepared and a good facilitator) the gout dynamics will take over. The most meaningful part of the small group meeting with a weak leader will be the spinach dip or the update on Aunt Edna's gimpy knee.

[George Westlake III]

Geoff.....
I was being sarcastic when I used the phrase "they work!" Everywhere the are done right!.....inferring that because our cell, life, E, home, groups have NOT worked. We obviously are NOT doing nor have we done them right. We do not have normal "principle" in our church and largely because of that dynamic, they have failed on the smaller level. Thanks for your insight, Geoff.

[Mattharrell]

Geoff, you are a funny...but you know that. I echo the comments of some of the others that the key is to not be forced. It should be a natural God-led thing for folks to find themselves trusting and opening up to a core group of believers that can walk with them. I also think it has a lot to do with location. If you look closely it's amazing how much you have in common with the folks that live right around you. Wouldn't it be great if we could all have small groups with are actual neighbors. Then we could use those walkie talkies to listen for our kids crying from a couple of houses away while we listen to gout boy.

[Stretch Mark Mama @stretchmarkmama]

Hubs and I have (secretly) taken to calling them "Purple Groups." We've lived through Sunday School, ABF, and then the 372 small group models. Neither one of us is fond of small groups, but then again, we're cynical hermits. Looking forward to the next posts.

[Joe Windham]

Geoff, Are you really serious? Come on! I believe Christ model of small groups to us in scripture is the most powerful vehicle by which the local church is made mobile and multi-present throughout a community/city. I would agree, groups dont work if they're stuck in the visionless weekly same old same old of food, bible study, and food. I believe and have experienced that when spirit empowered people join together with a common vision of caring for one another, growing spiritually together, and reaching there community effectively with one another, this is the most effective way to carry out the great commandment and great commission of the gospels. Jesus was the true founder of multi-site. LOL. Kidding! Love you in the Lord! Thanks for stirring me up early and does Mac know you wrote this?