Trying hard to be lame

Earlier this week Ed Stetzer emailed me a link to a blog post by Julie R. Neidlinger in which she took exception to my recent picture on the cover of World Magazine. Here is an excerpt from her post:

"The cover photo alone enraged me, with the pastor wearing baggy jeans and untucked button-up shirt with flip flops and an ear microphone. Later, the same guy is shown out front of a church holding a paper Starbucks-like cup of coffee. Could he try any harder to be lame?

I’d have liked to have taken that cup of coffee and dumped it on his head. But it’s nothing personal against that guy or his beliefs or sincerity. It’s an anger at something else."

I responded to Julie in the comments of the post on World Magazines blog, but there are some other issue I did not cover. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that I cannot leave this without unsheathing my rapier like wit. So here we go.

First, this is the first time I am aware of that merely looking at a photo of me has enraged anyone. I will admit that I am not a good looking man; that is a fact I came to terms with many years ago when I noticed mother's covering their children's eyes when I passed. I didn't, however, realize that my Burl Ives uni-brow, gorilla-esque forehead or horribly misshapen teeth caused rage. Perhaps my Senior picture could be used to inspire Olympic boxers to reach the gold medal podium.

Second, I am ok with her attack on my clothes. I have never been accused of being a snappy dresser. Just the sight of my hairy toes peaking out beneath the strap on my flip flops is enough to repulse even the hardiest viewer. What bothers me is her insinuation that I am holding any less than a genuine Starbucks paper cup. While the cup did not actually contain coffee (I don't drink the stuff), I am definitely holding a bona fide Starbucks recycled cardboard drink container and corrugated heat sleeve. I may be a poser, but I am a poser with standards.

Third, Julie asks if I could try any harder to be lame. I don't know how to answer that. Yes, I COULD try harder to be lame, but I seem to be doing really well without trying at all. On the other hand if I said, "No, I couldn't try any harder to be lame", that would seem like I feel like I have lame nailed. That just seems arrogant. So I guess I'm going to have to take a sip of lukewarm chai and shrug in my oh so smug way.

Finally Julie says that she would like to dump hot coffee on my head. Throwing scalding liquid in my face seems extreme no matter how disgusting and lame my picture is. I accidentally drank hot tea too fast last night and I know how much that hurt; I can only imagine the pain of being scarred for life by a Grande cup of Pikes Place Dark Roast.

Julie concludes by saying that it's nothing personal against me. I hope I'm not being overly sensitive, but when someone ridicules my clothes, calls me lame and threatens to dump hot coffee on my head I'm pretty sure its personal. Just think how ticked Julie will be if she ever actually meets me.

Comments

[Mike]

I'm just a couple of weeks late to this whole conversation, but I thought I'd chime in. I'm probably one of the few people who have commented on Julie's post that has lived in both North Dakota and Southern California. And for the record, I don't like flip-flops because I don't like anything between my toes. Anyway, I've been a part of both tiny little store-front churches and fairly large churches (1500+). I've found that the actual size of the church doesn't really matter much. Small churches can be just as impersonal and uninviting as large churches. And both can be just as friendly and warm. I've come to realize that one of the most important factors is the small group (cell group, mini-church, home fellowship). This is where true growth, discipleship, and fellowship can happen. At my current church, Hope Chapel in Hermosa Beach, we push the mini-church concept as a means of getting believers to help each other grow and minister to each other--instead of leaving it up to the pastors. Yes, Hope Chapel is in the fairly large category. Yes, we have "programs" geared to certain segments. But our senior pastor has it as his top priority that the full gospel is preached and not compromised. And every week our mini-churches meet to go in-depth and discuss the past weekend's message. But we don't stop there. We take action on what we're learning and reach out to our community. This was one thing I noticed when reading Julie's post--she never mentioned anything about looking for a church that tried to impact the community that surrounded it. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt since she did say in later comments that she wrote it a bit hastily. I guess my final question for Julie is what would her ideal church service look like? She doesn't like the set schedule for the various parts of your traditional service. I've been in churches that tried to change it up a little, but I'm afraid that Julie would think that they were trying to be cool and trendy. I'm not trying to be condemning, because she had some excellent points. I'm just confused because she didn't really offer many solutions or concrete examples of what she's looking for (besides Dairy Queen and tire changes).

God Bless,
Mike

[Geoff Surratt]

Hey Beth,
The difference between myself and your pastor is that Jon actually is young, hip and relevant; I'm just a poser. I had a chance to hang out with Jon earlier this year and he's an awesome leader.

You can find podcasts of my messages on iTunes if you search for Seacoast Church. I'm sure that my lameness carries over into my speaking.

[Beth]

Hi,

My pastor, Jon Weece, of Southland Christian Church in Kentucky, faces similar lameness. As the pastor of a 50+ year old church, there are bound to be folks that don't understand the casual trend. You're wearing a collared shirt in the magazine picture. That is certainly a step up from some of the tee shirts Pastor wears. My 78 year old mother-in-law has similar concerns. She gets upset when folks bring in Starbuck coffee cups in the service. Or someone wears shorts. The point is the Word. And Jesus went to the people. So must we.
Hey, you have a podcast of your messages so I can see if she means your sermons are lame?
Your sister in Christ,
Beth

[Geoff Surratt]

Hey Julie,

Thank you for the apology for hurting my feelings. I really wasn't hurt, this has been the highlight of my week. The ironic thing is that I am one of the least cool, faux or otherwise, people you could meet. Most of my friends aren't rallying to my defense, they are rolling on the ground laughing at me. And that is a good thing.

I think the imagery you used such as being enraged, dumping coffee and kicking someone's a** probably overshadowed your real message. And you obviously hit a hot button you didn't intend to push with the casual vs. formal dress thing. I'm sure it was frustrating on your blog when everyone wanted to debate the validity of flip flops away from the coast. (As a point of clarification I live in a beach community and I rarely wear flip flops. I just happened to have them on when the photographer showed up.)

If I get time later today I'm going to take a swing at talking about the real issues that you raised in your post without referring to my own clothing challenges. I will try not to be sarcastic, but I can't make any promises. That is my real weakness.

[Julie]

"It is interesting, however, how one can judge and cateragize a person and a church with no more evidence than just a picture."

Might I point out that in what was a very, very long blog post about a variety of topics, I only devoted two short paragraphs in the introduction -- six sentences -- in reference to the photo and explicitly stated that "it's nothing personal against that guy or his beliefs or sincerity. It's an anger at something else" which, in my book, tells me it isn't really about Geoff Surratt, but "something else."

The rest of the post goes on to talk about that "something else."

The church I talked about was not Geoff's, but one in which I actually attended a service, and therefore, have more than just a picture to go by.

I think, given the desire to connect with the body of Christ and finding a lot of empty programs and schmaltz and guilt trips (as in the example I mentioned in the post) to give more money to the children's ministry so they can buy -- what, rubber balls, candy and toys? -- in the name of "pointing people to Jesus", I will not likely feel terribly wrought with guilt because of my so-called "anger issues."

Because yeah -- that does make me angry.

It was suggested that I "get involved" in ministry to have a better understanding of how it really is. It's because of my involvement over the years that I finally wrote what I did, not because of a lack of it.

I'm involved in a variety of ministries at both my home church and elsewhere, and have come to see that the way we spend our time and money (buying cheap junk for ministry purposes, for example, is really not thinking it through: http://tinyurl.com/cheap-junk) and energy in "pointing people to Jesus" here in our American churches and culture is a shame when put into any number of perspectives.

I probably wouldn't dump coffee on anyone, though it would make a handy weapon.

I understand I may have hurt Geoff's feelings, which was not the intention and I apologize for that. I understand his friend's rallying around him. All good. Fine. But I do wish people would stop seeing the post as only about Geoff and flip flops and coffee! I talked about the herding of emotions, age segregation, immaturity...and it seems we can't get past flip flops and coffee. Red herrings, if there ever were any.

I closed my comments, by the way, not because I can't handle the discussion, but because I got a little more than annoyed with the emails that were arriving discussing flip flops and fashion in North Dakota. I was also tired of the apparent amen choir saying "yeah, Julie, I agree with you! You're awesome! I think we should dress up in suits and ties for church!" which is nuts.

Evidently, no topic is off limits for sideshow attractions.

[Chris Surratt]

The only thing that I found lame about the pic is the untucked, button up shirt. Seriously, who wears untucked, button ups anymore?!? That's worth at least some warm milk in the face. Geesh...what the heck were you thinking???

[Greg Surratt]

Hey bro,

I tried to come to your defense on her blog, but she closed the comments after 40 or so responses, most of which overwhelmingly agreed about the depth of your lameness. There is no doubt that you are lame, but certainly not so lame as to inspire that degree of violence and disdain. It probably would have been wiser for World to have used a picture of your less lame and certainly better looking older brother.

It is interesting, however, how one can judge and cateragize a person and a church with no more evidence than just a picture.

[Mary Chris]

Well those of us that know you love you just the way you are! Julie just does not know awesome when she sees it... that's ok, we will love her through her anger issues!

[Julie]

I probably wouldn't dump hot coffee on anyone, in real life.

Probably.

Despite your levity in response, I feel as if it is likely that I've stepped on your toes.

That's why you shouldn't be wearing flip flops.

Probably.

[Steve Murphy]

My mom always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say... Gripe about someone's coffee cup.

[Ed Stetzer]

You are famous now.

Rick Warren on the cover of Time and Geoff Surratt on the cover of World. Both take criticism. Such is the price of fame.

Don't lose too much sleep over it. You are doing great work even though you outfit was, well, lame.

God bless,

Ed