In praise of kiosks

I stayed this past week at a Hyatt Place hotel for the first time. I am not easily impressed by hotels, but this place was amazing. It wasn't ornate or expensive, it was just a hotel done right. The decorations and furniture were Euro cool, there was a 42" flat screen tv in every room. (I think, I didn't actually peek in EVERY room) and best of all there was a self-serve check-in kiosk at the front door. Rather than waiting in line for a night clerk to try to find my reservation (Are you sure your name is spelled with a "G"?) I simply swiped my credit card and out came my room key and a receipt. How cool is that?

Then this morning I read this story about a hospital in Dallas that has self-serve kiosks for people coming into the emergency room. They simply type in their personal information and symptoms and then wait to see a doctor. (Michael Vick...6'2"...210 lbs...dog bite...left buttock) What a great idea! So I started thinking about other kiosks I'd like to see:

1. Counseling kiosk
   Obviously a patient could type in basic information, but what if the kiosk could actually do the preliminary counseling?
   How long have you resented your mother? (1-2 years/3-5 years/from the day I was born)
   How often do you feel like the victim in a relationship? (Often/always/Why are you treating me this way?)
   How's that working out for you?
2. Confessional kiosk
   While I'm not Catholic I think a confessional kiosk rather than a confessional booth could certainly speed things up. The confessor would simply choose from a list of common sins and then the appropriate penance could be imposed. If the Church is real ambitious the tithe could be collected at the same time.
3. Fast food kiosk
   Rather than having to repeat my selections over and over only to have my order messed up ("No mustard" must sound a lot like "Gobs and gobs of spicy yellow goo") I could simply type in my selections prepared my way on a touch screen. I would then be able to read my order before pressing the "Okey Dokey" button. (Yes indeed, I do want a BLT with no tomato. I have tried ordering a "BL", but the blank stare coming back across the counter only confirmed that I would be better off peeling the soggy fruit of satan off the toast myself.)
4. Traffic court kiosk
   The accused motorist could swipe their credit card to begin the court session, plead not guilty, explain that they really didn't mean to be doing 65 in a school zone, type in a couple of electronic tears and then throw themselves on the mercy of the kiosk. The electronic judge would then charge the fine to their credit card and they would be on their way. Same result but in only five minutes.

What kiosks would you like to see?

Comments

[Green Valley Community Church]

I've day dreamed out a fast food kiosk. It can't be any worse than trying to order something in a drive thru only to have it come at wrong. Somebody looking for an idea for "America's Next Great Inventor" could easly develope this.

[fletchers]

geoff..joel and I cannot stop laughing at this one.. we keep bringing it up here at home.. YOU ARE SO FUNNY! We hate tomatoes too! Keep writing we check on your blog for months and there was nothing.. so now this week, joel said check out geoff's kiosk thang. funny!

[Roger A. Redford [Rog]]

I love the idea of the counseling kiosk. You could add:
If you are OCD, please press 1 repeadtly
If you are dellusional, then please follow the white rabbit down the hole
If you are are paranoid, then we already know who you are, where you are and we'll find you even if you try and hide.

[Stephanie]

I've actually used a fast food kiosk at the airport. I don't remember which airport -- I believe it was somewhere between Dallas and Orlando -- I only remember I was really hungry and the line was really long and the kiosk kept pressuring me to order a combo w/ no customizations! I finally found that there were buttons along the right hand side to enter your made-to-order specifications, but there was definately a learning curve, and I kept thinking, "what have I gotten myself into" since there was a real person standing not 2 feet away!